Thoughts...

Many questions are sprawling through my head and I thought hard, yet not able to convince myself of an answer, even though there are answers out there.

Myself.. a servant leader.
Am I leaving a legacy behind or am I going through the motion?
Am I still a procrastinator, saying that "time will tell" when in reality, I am actually running away from my problems? Not facing reality in reality?
Am I going for the unconventional route not favoured by people?
Am I idiosyncratic in nature?
Do I still engage in weather-talking?

Relationships.. a selfless person who reciprocates
What kind of friends am i looking for?
Am I still considering inter-religious marriage?

Home..the difference
Am I still in control of my circumstances or is circumstances controlling me?

Future..a salt and light who impacts
In future, will I be able to support everyone, much less myself? Am I qualified enough a professional?
In future,will I be able to enter the course that I have in mind?
What is my motive? Money? Friends? Relationships? God? Love? Naivety? Worldliness?

I am at a stage of a life,feeling, akin to what someone would feel when experiencing a mid-life crisis, I would feel either uncertain of myself. Even though I know what my long-term goal/mission is, I just get that uneasiness in me. To feel that I need to be more mature, more responsible and more sensible. This uneasiness starts to hinder what I can be.

Most complicated idea.

I wonder why do people always over-complicate matters when all he can do the easiest of methods. In response to what is the most complicated idea in the world: as entitled above..Inter-religious marraige? Hmm. It's just a thought/ wishful thinking that came smack into my mind. Now, where would you place love?

Emo...

Everyone emos.. including me...The day I cried my lungs out.

My lacrimal glands are finally working at least...

Anger. Regret. Trauma.And a massive social responsibility to handle... Help!

F/NF. Standing beside a shemale(man in woman's clothing) wasn't the wisest thing to do, although initially i thought nothing scandalous can happen. Not until I first-handedly experienced what it was like to be harrassed by him/her/IT. How outrageous of IT to stand in front of me, hiding his right hand under what seemed to be covered by a jacket. I knew IT's hand was coming and I was prepared to take any physical evidence against IT with my N81. Hack, the camera sucks. He was as insistent on performing his antics, until I confronted him with a verbal warning to fcuk off to where he belong. IT didn't backed off. No one ever bothered to help me even as I was harrassed over two MRT stops... til I gave him a punch that The Rock would be proud of. Still the passengers weren't too bothered. I was reaching boiling point and I wanted to get even, thereby taking matters into my own hands.. (fill in the blanks). It didn't help that no one intervene....

Neither was I in the state of mind to attend cell group.. for I was like a time bomb waiting to explode... for I was deeply mentally disturbed...

Reflecting back, it still sends shivers down my spine that I could act in such an uncivilised manner, as it just dawned on me that I could be easily charged and it could easily end up a court case. But thankfully.... the fourth day after the incident.. just wanna recover from the trauma and not getting disturbance...and avoid the red-light district for a moment...

My hand is still hurting, as is my heart, mind and eyes. Just wanna stay clear from trouble as i take the week off to recover mentally and psychologically. I pray for his repentance.

Chinese new year this year

Quick update.I tell you: Chinese new year was smashing! Not only did I get to meet lots of my long distant cousins, I also get to enjoy a good o'le reunioun dinner with them. Alas! I also made a point to talk to them, especially cousins from my maternal side. Talking to them used to be a struggle as it was as if talking to a complete new stranger every year. But this year I've managed to know them more, not just my childhood playmates this fact alone. Getting their contact no. from shuaige and jammer had to be the most fulfilling thing this time around. There definitely got to be unpleasant news around though: hearing that jie jie's getting divorce is already a saddening thing, what more someone facing a financial difficulty? Hmm. I wish I could help....

1st day: Visit to grandaunt's place, home visit by paternal relatives and a trip to granduncle's place.
2nd day: Visit to grandma's place.
3rd day: Visit to Yeen Seen's place, settlers and visit to jasmine's place.

The third day got to top it off.. Massive fun and havok. Really enjoyed myself with all my friends, not to mention enjoying Nigel's antics.... Most fulfilling is bring Xin Yi around to meet my friends.... hopefully the second time she comes, she will feel more at ease around... that's all folks.

Though I kinda regret there isn't much sharing here lately, been racing against time...

It doesn't matter where you are..

My dear friend Gabriel and his brother Issac (their sis too..) left for NZ. It just challenges me whenever i think of the 2 dynamic duo because of what an impact they bring to wherever they have been called- in Harvester and in NZ. They just seem to bring joy to peoples' faces, and I'm one of them. I'm pretty sure Germaine misses them the most. So it will be goodbye to them and I'll just wish them a peaceful flight. Hope to see them live the dream of seeing them church be real dynamic....See ya and we'll wait for your return.